The Gift of Inspiration

This week has been nothing shy of an emotional rollercoaster. In my last post just a few days ago I had a change of heart – I cancelled my chemo appointment and decided I was going to stop treatment. I left work at noon and went straight home rather than going to UPenn. I sat on my bed and cried. I cried and cried. Tuesday night felt like it was never ending.

But the next 48 hours brought me what I like to call, the gift of inspiration. My last post generated some responses and prayers from quite a few people. I don’t think I realized how many people I’ve inspired along the way through this journey. The truth is, it’s all of you who inspire me to keep going.

Tom and Kari Whitehead came into town this week and they took me out to a lovely dinner Wednesday night. We had such an amazing evening at this little boutique-like, Italian restaurant in Center City. The Whitehead’s have been influential and very supportive throughout my CAR T journey as well as survivorship. We talked about a lot of things, including potential treatment options. But we also talked about Tom’s whispers and how he had a vision (he had similar visions when his daughter, Emily was fighting cancer) that I was going to get my T Cell therapy at Penn just two years ago. I think I’ll touch on the whispers in another blog post… and for now, focus on purpose. Sitting across from the Whitehead’s on Wednesday night at dinner, I was reminded of life’s purpose. And although I may not understand what exactly my purpose is, I do know that my purpose had everything to do with where I was and how I was feeling in that exact moment… sitting across from the Whitehead’s at dinner. Not all of you will understand the meaning of this next statement but for those of you who do, you will smile. I want the Whitehead family to know that:

I believe.

Yesterday, I had a doctor appointment scheduled with my doctor and PI at the University of Pennsylvania to discuss more details about the CART22 trial. I will post updates after I here back from my doctor at Penn.

Not all days are good. No matter how strong we are. We will have bad days. This is so true. The following is a link to the song that inspired me the most throughout this week. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t, it isn’t in my blood. Listen to it here:

IN MY BLOOD – Shawn Mendes

I want to thank all of you for giving me the gift of inspiration for you have inspired me to keep fighting.


2 thoughts on “The Gift of Inspiration

  1. Nicole, I learned about your story from Thermo Fisher’s website, and I believe your drive to fight is nothing short of amazing. I understand how exhausting it can be to receive the bad news again, but I think truly think you’re a role model for continuing your fight. I believe!

    Liked by 1 person

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