Things have changed since this morning. After receiving news that my cancer will come back (even if this new CAR T does work), I have decided to put an end to furthering treatment.
Besides having exhausted all of my energy and resources to fighting this cancer, I just cannot endure anymore of the emotional and physical pain associated with fighting and surviving – especially because I know what survivorship offers and truth is, the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
Today I was supposed to go to the hospital for chemo and another spinal tap proceedure, but I decided to cancel all appointments, procedures and chemo regimens. The scary reality and hard truth is that I’m tired of being a lab that. I’ve paid my dues and I just want to rest in peace 🧡